Mutual Respect and Love

None of us enjoy feeling obligated. We much prefer to experience things we have chosen for ourselves. Last Sunday we looked at Ephesians 5:21-33. This is a passage that at times has been misunderstood as describing an obligation. However, what Paul writes here really becomes life-giving when it is voluntarily chosen. In the letter to the Ephesians, Paul has shared God’s vision for humanity: for every person to become part of the family of God. This happens as a result of God’s gift of grace in Jesus being embraced through faith. Paul also explains that there are certain expectations that come with being members of the family of God. He exhorts believers to put away their old life and to “clothe” themselves with the new self, “created according to the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (4:24). Furthermore, believers are encouraged to be “imitators of God” (5:1). Paul then, in this letter, describes what life for the believer looks like: sexual purity, Spirit filled sobriety, and here in 5:21, he describes the ideal marriage. He says, “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.” In the ideal marriage, each partner voluntarily chooses to serve the other. By doing so, they are a microcosm of God’s grand vision for humanity. When married couples live in mutual submission to each other, they give witness to their children and neighbors for how to approach all of life, not just the marriage. In marriages where this mutual submission is present, there is much joy and fulfillment. Life is as God intended. When people see that kind of life they naturally desire it for themselves. As this happens, God’s mission of gathering “up all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth” (1:10) becomes a reality. May all of us, in all our relationships, seek ways to be like those in ideal marriages, who willingly choose a life of service. That kind of life is not an obligation, it is a joy.